The Day I Realized My Nervous System Was Dysregulated

“Who would I have to become to make this app a reality?”

I thought I was asking about business.

What followed made me question the way I had been living.

That conversation led to several others, and eventually, I began understanding my experiences through the lens of nervous system dysregulation.

Looking back, I realized how much of my life I had spent in environments that felt dysregulating to me—from my family and foster home to many of the workplaces I experienced.

I began questioning how often I had mistaken being on edge for being prepared.

And how often society seemed to reward that way of living.

Sometimes it felt like the person who could tolerate the most chaos was the person who got ahead.

But was that really how I wanted to live?

My intuition led me back to something familiar: subliminals.

I first discovered subliminals on Youtube in 2020. Back then, I would listen to a few random one here and there. I even created some of my own, but I wasn’t particularly consistent.

At the time, I was often focused on what I hoped to receive.

And that led me to reconsider something else: manifestation.

For a long time, it was easy to imagine receiving more money, more opportunities, or an entirely different life.

But I hadn’t spent nearly as much time considering what happened after something arrived.

I began to question whether receiving something and being able to hold onto it were actually the same thing.

I started thinking about receiving differently—not simple as getting more, but as becoming more comfortable with having, using, and experiencing what had already arrived.

It’s a question I continue exploring through Safe to Receive, a free 13-minute audio invitation to return to the present and notice what is already here.

I believe we are spiritual beings having a human experience.

But no matter how much I explored the spiritual side of life, I was still having that experience through a human body.

And the more I began learning about the body, the more I kept coming back to something incredibly basic:

Safety.

Food, water, shelter, rest, consistency.

These became part of the way I started thinking about caring for myself and supporting my nervous system.

So instead of searching for another random subliminal on YouTube, I decided to create my own.

That’s how Regulate—Nervous System Regulation audio—was born.

I want to be clear: I didn’t just listen to Regulate and suddenly manifest a regulated nervous system.

For me, the audio became part of a much larger process.

As I listened, I began noticing changes I wanted to make in the way I was actually living.

I was beginning to understand something I would later explore further in The Healing I Couldn’t Rush: a meaningful experience isn’t necessarily the same as an ongoing practice.

And one of the first places I began paying closer attention was my relationship with food.

Astrology, Human Design, and Gene Keys had become some of the frameworks I personally use to understand myself.

So naturally, when I began reconsidering the way I ate, I was curious about how I might explore a new routine through those frameworks.

I asked ChatGPT to help me create a simple way of eating, and it suggested a meal plan that included what to eat, how much to eat, and when to eat.

I decided to try it consistently.

Within the first 30 days, something happened that surprised me.

I had my first period without the cramps, PMS, and bloating I was accustomed to experiencing.

I couldn’t say with certainty that the meal plan caused the change.

But I noticed it.

After experiencing cramps since my first period, having a completely different experience made me pay closer attention to the way I was caring for myself.

Ten months later, I’m still enjoying the same general way of eating.

What began as a change to my meals gradually became part of a larger rhythm of everyday care.

That personal eating practice eventually became Nourish, which I now share alongside Regulate and The Daily Return in Return to Safety.

Looking back, I realize that what changed wasn’t simply what I was listening to or what I was eating.

It was the attention I had begun giving to the way I was living.